First there was the musician. A little older, probably way cooler. Broadened my taste in music quite a bit. That lasted about a year and a half, then it got too serious. Too
claustrophobic. I ended it. Later, I guess we sort of got back together? One day he dropped to one knee to propose and my response was, "oh shit." I told him I'd think about it, but I knew the answer right then. He had already decided that he could dictate who I could be friends with and I literally felt like saying "you're not the boss of
me." So I ended it for good. There was some drama, some stalking (fun times), some running away from the situation, a beaten up friend, and an
overnight stay in jail for the ex.
Then there was the way too old
one. Not sure what the reasoning was there, other than he liked me and I went
with it. He was drunk most of the time to the point where he couldn't speak. Hot. I stuck it out for three years, then I was through. I still lived in
our apartment when he moved in his new girlfriend. A woman I already knew...I
warned him she was trouble, but I guess he had to learn that on his own. I
moved out but I still have some very good friends who are like family that I met through him.
Next was the long distance guy...Reno.
It was great for a while, he was busy with work and school, and he was silly
and fun. We talked on the phone every night. He was a destination boyfriend, a mini vacation every month, and I learned how to play Texas Hold'em. ☺ Then he
moved back to the bay area. And was a lazy bump on a log. He just sat around
his dad's house and would call me at work to ask what I was doing while he was
eating breakfast at 3 in the afternoon. If I wanted to do anything other than sit around at his dad's house, I had to pay for us to do it, but he had plenty of money for weed. This was over after he let his
family tease me to the point that I was in tears and he did nothing to stop
them. Like a jerk, I ended it via email. Very classy of me.
The next two, I always forget
who came first...I think the weirdo. I'm not sure why we liked each other...well, I know why
I liked him. He was one of those people that it's hard to get to know and hard to get them to like you,
and for whatever reason, he enjoyed my silliness. He was a somewhat
anti-social, tattooed and pierced cokehead, and just really weird. I didn't know about the cokehead part for a long time
(I'm clueless on knowing if people are using drugs). He was always more into me
privately than in public and would ignore me most of the time when we went out.
This one didn't last too long. He dumped me basically by ghosting me (as the
kids say these days). We did get back together for another short ill-fated
go-round about a year later with an almost identical ending. Didn't stop him
from calling me every time he was in a bad situation...but by the end of the
back and forth, I was done with his BS and wasn't falling for it anymore. He's
the reason getting back together with an ex sounds like the worst idea ever.
So I guess either in between or after weirdo, there was the recently divorced guy. He's the best friend of
one of my good friends. We met and got along really well, so I invited him,
his friend, and my friend and her hubby over for dinner. And everyone flaked
except RDG, and the friends' plan worked (they admitted to this later). He was funny and sweet, his mom was great, we got along well and even my sisters liked
him. Then he had to go do his taxes or finalize divorce paperwork or something
with his ex-wife and realized he wasn't ready for a relationship. Broke up with
me out of the blue one night. We stayed friends- he invited me to visit him in Seattle while he was there for work and took me to a Mariners game each day I was there. Apparently he
told our mutual friend that we would have gotten back together had I said
anything while I was in Seattle. I regretted saying nothing for a while, but I'm glad I didn't. He's kind of a drunk who says
pretty shitty things when he's drinking. Not my cup of tea.
Then there was hot neighbor. He
actually did live right next door to me. He was a nice guy, but he cared too much
about what other people thought. He literally told me he couldn't wear flip
flops to Trader Joe's with a scratch on his foot, because WHAT WOULD PEOPLE
THINK??? Um, probably nothing if they even noticed your foot at all. After saying that, he had the
nerve to tell me I cared too much what other people thought. He decided to break
up with me the same week I was laid off from my job and had to put in
notice on my apartment. He asked me to stay with him in his apartment to help
me out, but he made it into a big weird secret that none of his friends knew about...until I
went out with their girlfriends and they figured it out. It was really funny
realizing how much I'd overlooked when I still liked him- he was pretty dumb.
I'd hear him on his conference calls trying to use big words and using them all
wrong. And he said "supposably." Good thing he was pretty, I guess?
I guess the
next one was my last one. He's a nice guy, very generous, and everybody likes
him. Just not much of a communicator. We met playing softball against each
other. Before we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, we'd already played
a tournament together. This one lasted for about six and a half years until I
realized I needed more to be happy (and got up the nerve to do something about it). As considerate as he was of his friends'
time, he couldn't care less about mine. I never really knew if he would show up
or not on any given night. I don't think he was trying to be a jerk, he just
took it for granted that I'd always be around. He's a few years younger than I
am and maybe that was part of the divide or maybe there was just a difference
in attitudes. Maybe it was the Gemini in him. Once we fell into the friend
zone, there was no getting out of it. I know I hurt him and I felt terrible about it, but I think it's what need to happen for both of us.
I'd say at least half of these
relationships started because I thought there was enough wrong with these guys
that they'd be able to like someone like me. Now I know that was a huge mistake and wasn't going to help any of these relationships work out in the long run. Not to
toot my own horn or anything, but I'm pretty great (most days). I'm by no means perfect and
I definitely have my flaws, but I'm funny and smart, I have a job and pay my own bills,
I'm good to my friends, and I bake yummy treats. There's no need to settle for
good enough (bad enough?).
So that's my story in boys...
